Doctors are Humans Too!

On my way to work, as I drive an average of about 60 miles round trip, I think about a lot of nothing and sometimes ideas of substance. I think about what I did wrong at work, what I can do better, about how I find myself frustrated at my patients and how they don't understand that I am not a robot --- I have feelings too like them because I'm human too.

Driving by industrial plants on the way to clinic.

A Moment of Candor

I have wanted for some time to talk more about myself in an open manner. I recently read Paper Tigers by Wesley Yang and it got me thinking about myself, my peers, and our parent's generation. According to my mother, I have not been the ideal Asian daughter because it is not filial to talk back and to do what you truly want to do in life. I have tried my hardest to do what would please her the most, to the point of sacrificing what I wanted to be in life, but there is a point you reach where you cannot be yourself and be who your mother wants you to be. The two cannot be reconciled and I have learned there is this important division between my generation (first born ABCs) and my mother's (recent immigrants).

To my mother, when my family and her friends say that I am "too American," it is something to be ashamed of; but I cannot change the influences in my life, of being in America and of being Asian. I am, and so are those like me, stuck in this no man's land of being Asian the way your parents are and being American like everyone around you.

The ridiculous Kchan!

Today was a pretty long day at the hospital compared to the other days, mainly because one of my consults was so zonked out from his cerebral arteriography that he couldn't answer any of my questions about his present medical history. Alas, we waited around for about two hours before calling it quits for the day and deciding we would try again tomorrow morning. We ended up ordering a series of relevant tests from the medical history that we could get from his caretaker, who unfortunately didn't know much and was generally a poor historian. The trials of medicine!

When I open the door, I come home to this:

Mondays and it's time to meet Kchan!

I think most people dread Mondays. I'm not any different, although sometimes Mondays really aren't any different than Saturdays or Sundays, depending on my work schedule. There are times when Mondays are day 8 of 12 in a row. This Monday capped the end of my vacation and I definitely felt it when I woke up. I lazed around in bed for a good 5 minutes before finally getting up and getting ready. I've pretty much perfected the art of getting ready in 15 minutes tops before heading out to my car because I pre-pack my bag so I don't have to get up any earlier than I have to for the hospital.

Here she is... all ready to go! My trusty Longchamp Le Pliage in Large (Bilberry) decorated with a Chococat! (I adore cute and cute + cat = mine).